Being in a relationship might have its own perks in terms of receiving emotional support. Whenever challenges are struck which makes your day feels dull and hard, your partner might be the first person to be at the front line, offering empathy and comfort by tuning in to you and validating your feelings. Most romantic partners depend on each other to some extent, yet when you need your partner to meet all of your emotional needs, you're probably not doing much to meet those needs on your own-enter, emotional dependence.
Emotional dependency is when someone believes they need another person to be happy or to feel complete. Those who depend on their emotions on other people, especially their romantic partner, need constant attention, approval, and support because they are unable to give it to themselves. Dependent people have an extreme fear of being not good enough, which comes from their deep-rooted childhood traumas and disappointments. Some attachment styles can play a part in emotional dependence, such as a lack of secure attachment to primary caregivers.
Just like any other mental health disorder, emotional dependence is often difficult to detect due to the absence of physical symptoms; most people with emotional dependence might not realize that they have it and might even refuse to accept it when someone pinpoints the signs to them. One way to find out is to start asking yourself questions like; do you feel empty and alone inside unless your partner gives you attention and validation? Do you have expectations that your partner has to meet for you to feel loved and safe? Do you project onto your partner how you want them to be instead of how they are?
Unfortunately, love is often confused with emotional dependency because its nature usually comes with intense feelings for another person. However, there's indeed a difference; people who are emotionally dependent might feel they're in love and not truly realize what they really feel was 'in need.' Having a certain degree of emotional dependency on your partner is normal, but when your happiness heavily relies on them, it becomes unhealthy. This extreme reliance can eventually affect your relationship and overall well-being.
Emotionally dependent people usually need a lot of reassurance and support from their partners. They might regularly ask things such as; do you love me? Do you really want to spend time with me? You don't want to break up, right? This feeling of insecurity and self-doubt results in you needing their approval to feel good about yourself. In addition, emotionally dependent people have an obsessive need to be attached to other people which leads to an obsessive fear of losing love.
Truth is, love that comes from fear isn't love—it's neediness. Emotional dependency is the result of the inner emptiness that occupies most of your mental state where you lay expectations on your partner to fill those emptiness and make you feel loved. When in fact, it's not possible to be healed by others. It's unrealistic to expect another person to meet all your needs all the time just that you feel secure and loved. Love is not just about receiving, love is a balance game of give and take.
(HAI/tim)