The other day, I was watching chick flick romance on Valentine's Day because that's what you're supposed to do when celebrating Valentine's all by yourself, right? But while at it, I noticed how there will always be that exciting and remarkable scene about the nerd who transforms her look into the super hot girl and becomes the center of attention in school where she was unnoticeable before. While intentions behind these transformations usually aimed to get the boy's attention, going against the mean girls or going for the prom queen title, in less-fiction situations, this action is usually seen right after a breakup whether they are the dumpee or the dumper.
Well, if you are an active TikTok user who spent a moderate amount of hours scrolling through the 'for you page', this occurrence may have made its way to your feed (or at least, it did for me). Even if it didn't, you can easily look it up on YouTube about "post-breakup glow up", and I can guarantee you a bunch of videos will show up.
 Self-care/ Foto: Monstera |
I once stumbled across a video of a YouTuber who spent a lot of her money to glam herself up after she went through a recent breakup, which she claimed ended in a good way. She would show her process of going to an expensive salon and spa to change her hairstyle and pamper herself up later with some shopping spree. This social phenomenon is what we call the "breakup glow-up". The acceptance phase would put individuals who strive to bounce back from their heartbreak by improving themselves mentally and physically in ways like; changing their hair and clothes, getting a piercing or a tattoo, working out at the gym, adopting a healthier diet, and many more.
We all acknowledge that break-up-no matter how long you've been in the relationship-sucks. Especially the ones you didn't see coming. People indeed deal with pain differently, but it makes me wonder about the fuss behind all these breakup glow-ups. Is there any psychological explanation in regards to this matter? Why do people want to change their outer appearance after going through a breakup? Is it one way to deal with moving on, or is it a way of proving your worth to your ex?
There's usually a big shift in your everyday life when you are going through a breakup; someone whose face you used to see every day is long gone, no one is asking you how did your day go, no shoulder to lean on, etc. To adjust to all these abrupt changes, people might find themselves wanting to start afresh where it can be reflected by changing their surroundings down to their looks.
 Dying your hair/ Foto: Maria Geller |
For some time, there's someone who used to be the center of your world. Regardless of the nature, some control in the relationship was carried out by your partner, and it only feels logical if they have such control over you. Psychologist Dr. Graham Hole explains that people change their hairstyle following a relationship breakdown is to exert a sense of authority. Since we can't dictate how we feel, we look for other things we can control. And upon experiencing a breakup, our outer appearance is, fortunately, something we can control.
It may also have something to do with bidding a goodbye to our former, possibly unhappy selves. Dr. Graham Hole further describes this as a reflection of a desire to break with the past. In other words, a fresh new look will help you embrace a new chapter in life, one without your past lover.
There's nothing in the world like feeling good being in your own skin! So, rather than looping your sad playlist and being stuck in a crying-overthinking-blaming cycle, taking care of yourself mentally and physically would be a better solution. Acknowledging this feeling is important because you will start noticing your worth, and it's also a way of taking back confidence that might have been temporarily misplaced during the breakup stage.
Remember, just because a relationship is broken, doesn't mean you should be too. A makeover might be the answer to (temporarily) cure your heartbreak, but do note that it doesn't necessarily take away all the pain. There's no right and wrong when it comes to healing. Some people try to reinvent where they're standing; by doing everything that makes them feel like they are glowing (or growing), instead of glooming. If you believe getting a new haircut can get rid of the memories of a certain someone, then go for it, girl!
(HAI/MEL)