Love happens when you least expect it. But is that saying still relevant-with the rise of dating applications like Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, and others where people are intentionally looking for love?
A survey by Rakuten Insight in September 2020 reveals how Tinder becomes Indonesia's favorite application among other dating apps. Further enhanced by the pandemic, Tinder reports how there is an increase in traffic and activities per February 2021, with 60 percent of Tinder users confessing how they start tuning into the app because of loneliness and the need to get connected with new people.
While these applications are meant to be used for a love scavenger hunt, people who 'fail' to match with each other can shift the relationship into a friendly one. But how about those who succeed in finally finding the perfect match, to the point where they are ready to bring the relationship to the next step? In this article, I am accompanied by Dian's love story that tells how she found the one through a dating app.
Firstly, I wanted to know whether Dian is a new user who seeks out love through these apps, or if she actually had been in the game for a while, to which she answered, "I already have used these applications back before it gains massive popularity as a medium for people to look out for a partner." she explained. At first, Dian feels like it's time to put an end to a fun relationship that doesn't mean to last which she has been involved in a couple of times.
Even though she had the plan to start a serious relationship, her reason didn't mirror her intention when she opened a dating app. "I do want a new and real support system, but actually at that time, I was only looking for a friend to talk to, which I did find at the end," Dian said. "But there's this one guy's profile that keeps popping out on my feed, and I never swipe right. His profile picture looks as if he was still a teenager," she laughed. "So I was like, "What is this little boy doing here?" and I feel challenged to prove to him how teenagers don't belong here. So, the third time he appears on my feed, I swiped right." she continued. Little did she know, the teenager look-alike guy ends up being her forever and always.
Dian doesn't remember many details of their first conversation, but she remembers how he was the one who initiated the first talk. "He said he was actually looking for a friend to talk to, but he also admitted how it'd be lucky of him if he managed to find a wife because according to him, his current job doesn't allow him to have the time and opportunity to look out for a love partner," Dian stated.
"My first impression? Well, I thought he was annoying at first. He never stops asking questions to the extent I felt like he was testing me. Even though at the end he really was asking out of curiosity and is truly seeking answers." Dian expressed. She told me later how the feeling blooms into a fondness, especially when the conversation they had with each other feels endless. After a week, they exchanged numbers and migrated to Whatsapp. To this day, however, Dian never deleted the application because of its sentiments about their first encounter and all the memories they had, lie within.
Dian found a special bond within their friendship. "I do feel like he's able to fulfill my needs; a discuss partner. It's just comfortable talking to him, and I don't want to let that go to waste, since I rarely find a friendship that clicks. It's hard to find someone nowadays, men especially, who are good at keeping up conversations about everything from politics, social, personalities, or out of the box topics." she declared. "He is someone who is able to broaden my perspectives and strengthen my understanding." she further explained.
One act of service that Dian found sweet and romantic, was the one where he gave her a birthday present that feels so special because it's a self-made zine about how he perceives her. Despite having to get to know each other for only two weeks, she started to feel more attracted to him than she could have ever imagined.
"I would say he's kind of slow-witted, emotionally, in a sense that he's slow in picking up signals. I had to be the one who expressed my feelings, but his response was, "Why would you be interested in me?" I mean, how could I know, too?" she laughed. "Finally, we decided to start going out. However, because of early lockdown in 2020, we can't actually arrange meet-ups," she stated.
There's a unique thing about their relationship. While some people who are in the adventure of scoring a partner might display their best traits and qualities, they both did the opposite. "Because of our honesty in confessing our bad traits, we did go through big arguments about clashing personalities and it feels like a test on whether we should have just given up on the relationship. But neither of us backed down." she declared. "So, the day we finally got to meet up was the same day we decided to make it official." Dian let out a sheepish laugh.
The question when it comes to marriage, though, always comes down to; how do you know they're the one? Dian answered, "I don't feel butterflies, I admit. It just feels like we're good friends who have been together for so long. But, I know why we should take this into the next step is because we both are committed to each other. We were really looking forward to a partner who is serious about love. And there's something that just won't let me give up on him. " she said.
However, a wave of uncertainty and doubts may surface, in this case, it happens to Dian's boyfriend. "During the first three months of dating, I feel like he still wasn't convinced how committed I am to our relationship. Eventually, after six months, he started to see my commitment despite me who are already having them from the day we made it official." she stated.
In January 2021, Dian started planning for their wedding. "It was challenging and tiring; physically, mentally, and financially. But we still pushed through. There's always a way and he always encourages how strong we are." she explained. "Finally, after all the hardships that occurred during our process in arriving at the altar, we got married in November 2021," Dian exclaimed.
Dian's successful story about finding her love through the help of dating applications surely has its own special feature that we can't help but tune into. From Dian's experience, we can see how this trending application can bring us a life partner, instead of just a one-night partner.
"I noticed how the stigma of dating apps in Indonesia is still perceived as negative. People underestimate dating applications because they think it only works for those who seek friends with benefits or a one-night stand. But I managed to prove how it can also bring you to your husband-to-be. A little note, however, we should be smart in choosing and judging people." she explained.
"Dating apps are like buying a cat in a sack; you don't know what you will get. So, for those who are looking for love through dating apps, be cautious and be smart," she exclaimed. Lastly, Dian sends a piece of good luck, because who knows, swiping right can lead to swiping rings down to each other's delicate fingers.
(HAI/DIR)