The role of mother is vital to children. For me, my mother is a mentor, support system, a friend (sometimes an enemy), but most importantly, a safe haven. It's the first relationship of our life, so the dynamic between a mother and daughter relationship would've been seen as deep, profound and sometimes can be a little complicated.
Whenever we're facing our darkest moments, a mother's warmth is the cure of it all. Undoubtedly, words of encouragement from your mother have healing power to make everything feel right again. It was like putting a band aid over your wound-it still hurts but it makes you feel slightly better. When you are drowning in sadness, it also leaves an emotional impact on your mother, even though perhaps she never mentions that to you. It's important to note that no mother would want to see their daughters being in pain.
What once started as a basic human need and loving adoration, over the time a mother and daughter relationship can turn into another direction. Usually, the bond between mother and daughter will start to strain when we go through the stage of adolescence and early adulthood where we feel like we're old enough to be independent and capable of making our own choices.
We've stopped asking permission on what to wear or what's our plan of the day, we've begun to figure out how our wants and needs have shifted long ago which sometimes does not align with your mother's expectations anymore. From here, critiques and complaints will be thrown towards each other. And while it may be coming out of love and concern, sometimes it gets tangled in a misunderstanding. Eventually, arguments and fights will break, generating harsh words that can wound the heart, further straining the relationship.
Sometimes an answer to a tension between a mother and daughter is a heart-to-heart conversation followed with warm cuddles, or a quality time of endless shopping and dressing nice to eat somewhere fancy. As we grow up, we often forget the fact that it's not just us who got older, but our parents as well. With that, you really want to make each birthday count.
While the main occasion is to celebrate a step into a new age, it is also the perfect time to celebrate the presence of your mother. She was the one who was there for you before you came into the world. So it's safe to say that it's rather a celebration for the both of you. And the bliss of a celebration is the one where you are surrounded by the people you trust and the people who love you.
Mother and daughter relationship has a unique dynamic, where fights are inevitable but mostly never last forever. No matter how big the argument is, be mindful that mothers want the best for their children. And for us, no matter how old we are, we always crave for our mother's approval.
(HAI/DIR)