The past few days, my TikTok FYP has been circulating videos about the age difference with their respective partners. But what surprised me a bit, was that some women had an age gap of up to 20 years with their partners. In Indonesia, it is actually not something new nor strange--for example, our own parents who may have a fairly large age gap.
It's just that in the Gen Z era, things like that might have been seen as strange and often create stereotypes. That women who like men who are older, well-established-not infrequently; there are also those who like widowers-have hidden intentions. For example, looking for wealth, wanting to live comfortably without working, and there are still many labels that are pinned for women who have different tastes in love.
So, is it wrong to like this older man who is now often called 'Bapakable'?
Rumors about older men are considered interesting as it turns out that there is a scientific discussion. Professor Medelaine Fugere, who wrote The Social Psychology of Attraction and Romantic Relationships provides scientific facts, stated that older men are considered attractive by some women. It denotes a psychological and evolutionary phenomenon and is not just a cultural cliché. "The age difference becomes a comfortable situation for heterosexual couples," she said.
In the study, the research team asked men and women about the age at which they had partners. Men tend to say that they want a female partner who is a few years younger and that women like a man who is a few years older. Cross-culturally it is almost universal.
Another study found that women who date older men actually have healthier relationships. In a study involving 173 women, 44 of whom dated men who are at least 10 years older. The stereotype of women having boyfriends who are much older as a result of 'problems with dad' has no effect.
The researchers found no significant difference in the style of attraction between women in same-age relationships and women in age-difference relationships. In fact, they found that 74 percent of women who had boyfriends much older enjoyed their love story and felt secure.
Psychologically, the majority of researchers believe that the preference for older men can be attributed to our fathers. Women are statistically more likely to marry men who are similar to their father's traits.
The reasons women prefer older men
There are at least a few reasons why some women today are more attracted to older men.
1. More 'mature' mentally and emotionally
Most middle-aged men tend to have more mature minds and emotions than younger men. That's because older men have tried different things and explored the world before getting into more serious relationships. No wonder they have wisdom in dealing with problems and that is what makes women feel comfortable.
2. Financially stable and know what they want
Apart from being emotionally stable, older men of course are financially ready to start a family. They already know about their priorities and what they want to achieve.
3. Don't hesitate to help with housework
Perhaps one of the things that many women want--including me--is to have a partner who doesn't hesitate to help with housework. For example, such as cooking, cleaning the house, washing clothes, even taking care of the children.
4. Understand how to treat women
Older men are generally tired of the adventure of love and already have a lot of experience. Not surprisingly, they can better understand what women want.
5. Anti-Drama
Admit it, we as women are emotional creatures and like to do things without thinking. That's why it's important that we look for men who can overcome our shortcomings and older men tend to have these skills. They are a very avoidant and anti-drama-drama club!
Although many women choose an older man as a life partner, I myself do not choose a man based on age. Because in my opinion, it's not only men who are older than men of the same age or younger. It all depends on the level of emotional maturity and self-maturity. Whatever our choice about finding a life partner, the point is to find a life partner who 'klop'!
(DIR/HAL)